Boring Dreams

Fringe

2009-09-21T20:40:00.003+01:00

A few nights ago I dreamed that my brother cut off a bit of my fringe and I was REALLY ANGRY.

Milk

2009-06-25T23:42:00.001+01:00

The other night I dreamed I tipped a jug of milk over my head.

Earthquake

2009-06-13T19:07:00.001+01:00

The other night I dreamed there was an earthquake but I didn't notice.

Pencil

2009-04-07T18:00:00.001+01:00

Last night I dreamed I was sharpening an eyeliner pencil and the end kept breaking off.

Croissants

2008-12-22T17:35:00.000Z

Last night I dreamed I bought a selection of continental patisserie.

Hat

2008-12-15T13:52:00.001Z

I recently lost a hat. The other night I dreamed I'd found it.

Rent

2008-11-19T16:44:00.001Z

I also dreamed I negotiated the rent on a flat.

Coke

2008-11-19T16:43:00.001Z

Last night I dreamed I bought two cans of full-fat Coca Cola and put them in the fridge, neatly lined up on the left-hand side.

Pudding

2008-10-20T21:15:00.001+01:00

The other night I dreamed I had a work meeting with someone and she brought me along a lemon pudding.

Medicine

2008-09-27T21:20:00.002+01:00

I keep all my medicines (Anadins, Nytols etc.) in a small zip-up bag in my bathroom. Last night I dreamed that someone had taken them all out of the bag and laid them out on the side.

Rash

2008-09-15T14:56:00.000+01:00

Last night I dreamed I had a blistery rash on my right arm.

Omelette

2008-09-13T11:15:00.001+01:00

Last night I dreamed I made an omelette.

Cold

2008-09-10T09:01:00.001+01:00

Last night I dreamed I had a cold.

Fours

2008-07-31T10:43:00.001+01:00

Last night I dreamed I was walking to the station. On all fours.

Nose

2008-07-30T08:05:00.003+01:00

Last night I dreamed I pulled out two long hairs which were growing on my nose.

Parrot

2008-06-19T19:58:00.002+01:00

Last night I dreamed that someone gave me a parrot to look after. There was some confusion though, over whether it was in fact a parrot, or a bottle of bleach.

Suit

2008-06-03T14:10:00.010+01:00

The other night I had a very peculiar dream. I dreamed I met my grandfather in the garden. He died in 1983, so this was pretty momentous. I asked him what he had come back for; did he have some important message to impart to me, his only granddaughter, after all these long years? Yes, he said, there was something very important indeed, but it was actually something he rather hoped I could tell him. He needed a new suit; what was my opinion of Paul Smith?

Morning

2008-05-01T09:08:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I dreamed I woke up, got dressed, had breakfast and went to work. I then actually did wake up, get dressed, have breakfast and go to work. So you could say I dreamed the future. But in what has to be the most boring way possible.

Barbecue

2008-04-02T10:34:00.005+01:00

I'm not sure this one qualifies really because it is a bit out there, but it's essentially very prosaic so I reckon it's in the mould of the boring Bin Laden dreams mentioned in that BBC article I linked to a couple of months ago, and therefore legit.

My brain appears to have been somewhat preoccupied with the Zimbabwean elections last night, as I dreamed that Robert Mugabe had, among all the fuss and flurry, briefly gone AWOL. He was eventually discovered hiding out in Morgan Tsvangirai's gas barbecue.

Celery

2008-03-25T23:20:00.005Z

Last night I dreamed that my brother was given a large bunch of flowers, had a blindfold put on him and was forced to identify each flower by eating it. He managed most of them no problem, but had some difficulty with the celery. Yes, celery.

Cigar

2008-03-23T23:20:00.003Z

I had a friend round for supper the other evening, and after the meal he popped outside for a cigarette. That night I dreamed about this, except in my dream, when I let him back in the front door I was mildly surprised to see that he had been smoking not a Marlboro Light but a large cigar.

Toenails

2008-03-06T18:06:00.002Z

It's been ages since my sleep was troubled by any dream that wasn't completely riveting, but last night's was a real corker. For some reason, I was examining my feet and couldn't work out why the nails on one set of toes were significantly longer than the other, since I'd cut them all short only last Saturday.

Canape

2007-11-28T11:49:00.000Z

Last night I dreamed I was at a smart cocktail party where I was very keen to make a good impression. My ear started itching so I scratched it. When I took my finger away there was an enormous lump of earwax on it. I couldn't think of how to dispose of it discreetly so I hid it among the canapes.

Friends

2007-11-24T16:23:00.000Z

Look at paragraphs 11 and 12 of this article on the BBC website.

We are legion.

Match

2007-11-01T11:28:00.000Z

Last night I dreamed I was writing someones name on a gift tag with the only writing instrument available, which was a spent match from a paper matchbook.